A Truly Horrible Story in which a Lowly Little Girl’s Dreams Are Crushed by the Minute Number of Televisions at the Guest House.

Once upon a time, there was a girl named Maddie who really loved football- I mean, soccer. She was having a good day. She had had a good swim, and oh how she loved swimming. She had gotten some good Pop Tarts and how she loved Pop Tarts. And she had gotten good Chinese food and how she loved Chinese food. And so, the Chinese restaurant had a television there. And there was footba- I mean, Soccer on. And lo and behold, Chelsea was playing! (hallelujah chorus) Maddie felt giddy with joy as they paid their check. She urged her father to go speedy fast through traffic to get to the guest house where there was one TV. ONE TV LADIES AND GENTLEMEN. REMEMBER THAT. And so, they arrived at the guest house and Maddie was chattering about how, ‘hey, there’s almost nobody here tonight. What are the odds they’d be watching the ONE TELEVISION in the guest house?’ The odds were not in my favor. I almost dropped our groceries as I walked in discovering that the one TV was in use by the only other occupants of the guest house. Maddie slouched up the stairs, figuring nonchalantly mentioning there was a game on to two other people she didn’t know, would not do any good. And so she huffed into her room and flopped down on the bed, imagining all the blue-clad players rushing around the field, not only watching their game but being in the game themselves. Then Maddie imagined the only television left in the world being shut away in the closet, and not only was she not allowed in there, but it was on the dumb channels too, like the ones where really rich people talk about how good they dress. Maddie slouched down to the computer and blogged about her troubles, knowing that if she just phrased it in the form of an amusing story… Maybe she might just get someone to tell her exactly how the game ended up… Or else she’d have to look herself. And she didn’t want to do that. She wanted to watch the game in the first place. The End. Epilogue And then the people left and Maddie got to watch her game and the sun came out and the unicorns danced and mermaids sang and fairies made her a wreath of flowers to toss on the player’s heads when they won. TWO HOURS LATER, AFTER A VERY LONG GAME And they did win. Ha ha!